


so old they were, and wise

by destiny919



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discussion of Child Abuse/Neglect, Gen, Minor Character Death, Post-Episode I: The Phantom Menace, We Stan Plo Koon, [iasip music] Anakin Learns About Stranger Danger, and ONLY bby!anakin, bby!Anakin, how many call out posts for the jedi council can destiny pass off as fics?, if you even think about that in this fic i will stomp you to death with my hooves, which is why i am NOT tagging this pre-slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destiny919/pseuds/destiny919
Summary: Obi-Wan's arm had tightened around him to the point of squeezing. He felt sick swoops of nausea. "Anakin," he said urgently. "I don't care what the circumstances are or who you're with, ifanyonetries to bring you to the Chancellor, stars forbid leave you alone with him,do not allow it.Do whatever is necessary - cry, scream, fight, use the Force, run - run to find me.Stay away from Chancellor Palpatine.Do you understand, young one?"Wide-eyed, Anakin nodded.





	so old they were, and wise

**Author's Note:**

> this fic literally happened based on the errant plot bunny "what if at some point a few months after tpm, padme just fucking died." it was just meant to be obiwan and lil anakin talking about grief and emotions and then, as most of my fics tend to do, turned into another jedi council call out. 
> 
> title is from "the false friends" by dorothy parker.
> 
> edit: NOBODY COME IN HERE WITH ANIDALA SHIT

It was late morning and Anakin had yet to emerge from his bedroom since he went back in after breakfast. Obi-Wan sighed before laying his hand on the door knob.

"Anakin?" he called softly. "May I come in?"

A muffled "okay" pleasantly surprised the Master, who had expected a firm rebuff from his prickly little Padawan.

Obi-Wan slowly opened the door, revealing Anakin, red-eyed and hugging his pillow. "Oh, Padawan," he sighed, and moved to sit next to Anakin on the bed. "You don't have to hide your grief from me."

"I wasn't," Anakin muttered. "I just wanted pr-privacy."

"Did you?"

There was a short pause. "No," he admitted into the damp pillow.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Obi-Wan asked tentatively. "About...Padme?"

Anakin sniffled hugely, and then plunged right in. "She was the first free being to treat me like I was more than just a slave," he mumbled. "I told her I was a person and she listened."

Obi-Wan tightened the arm around his shoulders. "Queen Amidala was an amazing young woman. Brave and brilliant, and ferocious in her devotion to the people of Naboo. She deserves to be grieved by all who knew her."

Surprised, Anakin looked up at him. "Are  _ you _ grieving, Master?"

He raised his eyebrows in his own surprise. "Of course, Padawan. I knew her as you did. Perhaps she may not have been as pivotal in my life, but in my short time helping her, even if I did not know that Padme was the queen and not a handmaiden, we did become friends. I mourn her loss as a person as well as for the galaxy."

"Oh." Anakin slumped more comfortably against Obi-Wan's arm, as if his admission of grief had made him relax. "Isn't grief attachment?"

"No, Anakin," Obi-Wan said gently. "It's the healthy way to cope with a loss, and accept it. Attachment would be  _ refusing  _ to accept it, and let it go, and honor Padme by moving on and continuing her work to make the galaxy a better place." He sighed. "As Jedi, we may not be supposed to grieve her for as long as, perhaps, her family, but I feel certain that Padme would rather we turn to serving the galaxy, our duty as Jedi, than mourn her uselessly."

Anakin seemed to chew on this for a while. Obi-Wan waited, well-accustomed to his apprentice's careful thinking about Jedi principles - and the either very pointed or completely abstract questions that usually followed.

"Master," he said finally, "I don't like the Chancellor."

Obi-Wan gaped at him. "I - Padawan, you -." He swallowed. "First I must ask what prompted you to make this statement now." 

He shrugged. "He talked to me about Padme yesterday."

"But - it only  _ happened  _ yesterday," Obi-Wan said blankly. "When did you even see the Chancellor?"

"Master Dooku took me out of Master Nu's class to go eat lunch with him in his office," Anakin said sulkily. 

_ "Did  _ he," Obi-Wan said, already seething, but trying not to let his unhappy Padawan see it. "And what did the Chancellor say about losing Padme?"

"He kept asking me if I was angry about it," Anakin admitted. "Or - or - I don't know. I was upset, I was really...sad, but I hadn't thought to be  _ angry  _ until he..."

"Suggested it," Obi-Wan said darkly. He’d broken out in a cold sweat and wasn’t entirely sure why yet. "And what did Master Dooku say about that?"

"Nothing. He left."

"He brought you to the Chancellor on such a day, without informing me, and  _ left you there?" _ Obi-Wan demanded.  _ He was going to wring his grandmaster’s wrinkly neck- _

"Yeah," Anakin said, shying away. "The Chancellor said I must be independent enough to go back to the Temple alone. He sent me in a speeder cab. And then I came back here cuz Master Nu's class was over."

Obi-Wan rubbed a hand over his face, while the other tightened protectively on Anakin's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me what happened then? I was home."

He shrugged again. "You were meditating. Master Windu always says not to interrupt when he's meditating."

"I'm not Master Windu," Obi-Wan said firmly. "I am  _ your _ Master, and that means you may interrupt me whenever you like. You are my priority before anything else." Including the opinions of the Jedi Council.

"Oh," Anakin said, blue eyes round.

"And -  _ never _ let another Master take you away anywhere without alerting me. I do not care if they say I already know, or if they claim it's on my instruction, you verify that  _ yourself." _ He sighed. "I really hate to make you doubt your fellow Jedi, but Master Dooku at least clearly does not have your welfare in mind, and I prefer to be cautious."

Anakin smiled slightly. "I know that, Master. But, I thought Master Dooku was my gr - my great-grandmaster?"

"He is," Obi-Wan agreed. "He trained Qui-Gon." He felt the pang in his heart, and moved on. "But his time as a Watchman has changed him, and not for the better, I'm afraid." Obi-Wan had sensed it when Dooku first returned just a month or two ago. The venerable Master had new shadows in his soul, blotting out the Light. He’d chalked them up to the reason for his return to the Temple - anyone would be a little closer to the Dark Side at their former Padawan’s funeral. But Master Yoda had asked for Obi-Wan’s impression of him afterward, clearly marking the change in Dooku as something more serious than grief.

Not that loss wasn’t to be taken seriously, he thought, rubbing Anakin’s skinny shoulder.

"Oh,” was all the boy said.

"You didn't finish explaining why you don't like the Chancellor," Obi-Wan prompted.

Anakin wrinkled his nose. "I felt - bad, after I saw him. Slimy."

He snorted. "Well, he is a politician."

"No." Anakin shook his head. "I didn't feel that way after we had lunch with Senator Organa. I felt icky in  _ here."  _ He pressed a hand to his chest. "In - in the Force, I guess. When the Chancellor smiled at me I wanted to be sick."

Obi-Wan's arm had tightened around him to the point of squeezing. He felt sick swoops of nausea. "Anakin," he said urgently. "I don't care what the circumstances are or who you're with, if  _ anyone _ tries to bring you to the Chancellor, stars forbid leave you alone with him,  _ do not allow it.  _ Do whatever is necessary - cry, scream, fight, use the Force, run - run to find me.  _ Stay away from Chancellor Palpatine.  _ Do you understand, young one?"

Wide-eyed, Anakin nodded.

His Master relaxed abruptly, and the sheltering arm around Anakin became more of a hug, which Anakin leaned into gladly. 

"I'm afraid we got rather off-topic," Obi-Wan muttered. "Although this was important, and I'll have to speak to... Do you understand what I told you about Padme, dear one?"

"I - I think so," Anakin said, voice muffled by how he'd hidden his face in Obi-Wan's robe.

"Tell me," he said gently. 

"Holding on to the pain and sadness isn't a good way to honor Padme," Anakin mumbled. "I should try to be a good Jedi, and help people like she did."

"Precisely, Padawan." Obi-Wan gave him an approving squeeze. "You can grieve her loss for as long as you need, but then you must let her go."

"Yes, Master." One blue eye peeped up at him. "How long is how long as I need."

Obi-Wan hummed. "Remember what we talked about, and you'll know when the time comes that you are ready to let go."

"Master..." His face was hidden again.

"Yes, Padawan?"

"You sound like you're speaking from experience."

"Ah." Obi-Wan took one hand away from Anakin to stroke his chin - it had the beginnings of a stubbly beard that already made him look older than twenty-six. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Who?" Anakin demanded suddenly, head emerging in entirety.

"I've known a number of Jedi who have become one with the Force, in addition to my own Master," he reminded Anakin.

He only shook his head. "No, you weren't talking about Master Jinn," Anakin said with complete assurance. "You're still grieving him. You haven't let go yet."

Obi-Wan stiffened in spite of himself. "How do you know that?"

The boy only shrugged. "It's obvious."

No other Jedi had noticed Obi-Wan's continued grief - he would have known. Hell, much of the time Obi-Wan was so focused on Anakin he was barely aware of it himself.

"You don't see your perceptiveness for the rare quality it is," Obi-Wan muttered. 

"The other Jedi are just stupid," Anakin said baldly.

"Padawan!" Obi-Wan gasped. "How could you say such a thing?"

"I guess not  _ all _ other Jedi," Anakin conceded. "You're not. Master Plo is pretty smart, and I like Master Fisto and Master Nu. But most of the Council - they don't know everything about the Force, no matter how old Master Yoda is, and they're really dumb about feelings."

"Oh, Padawan," Obi-Wan groaned. 

"See! You think I'm right!" Anakin said with obvious satisfaction.

"That is  _ not _ what I said."

"But it's what the Force said."

"Oh, did it?" Obi-Wan said dryly. "I suppose  _ you _ know everything about the Force?"

Anakin shrugged. "More than Master Windu or Master Mundi."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. "But not Master Yoda?"

"Well, I'm only ten," Anakin said reasonably. "Yoda is 900. I won't know more than him until I'm at  _ least _ fifteen."

Obi-Wan couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. "Oh, at  _ least," _ he gasped, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I don't see what's so funny, Master!"

"Perhaps you will when you're fifteen," Obi-Wan snickered.

"Hm." Anakin's eyes lit up.  _ "You _ were fifteen."

Obi-Wan stopped laughing. "Yes, I was once fifteen standard years of age -"

"No," Anakin said. "When you lost someone."

How did Anakin do this? Deadshot aim at the deepest parts of Obi-Wan. "Yes," he said quietly. "I was."

"Who were they?"

"Her name was Cerasi, and I met her on the planet Melida/Daan. And you are not ready to hear the rest of the story," Obi-Wan said with finality.

"Or you're not ready to tell it," Anakin muttered.

Again, deadshot aim. "...Both," Obi-Wan allowed with obvious reluctance.

"That's okay," Anakin said. "I know it hurt a lot. More than Padme, even."

"I must admit I'm impressed you can see that, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "I know Padme's loss is painful for you, indeed." That kind of emotional generosity was promising for the boy’s recovery from the young Queen’s loss.

"Humility is part of being a good Jedi," Anakin said solemnly. "So Padme wouldn't want me to believe I was more hurt than anyone. I bet her family is more upset than I am."

"This is very admirable of you, Padawan," Obi-Wan praised him. "The words of a future  _ great _ Jedi, I would say."

"Really?" Anakin beamed. 

"Yes. Padme would be proud." Impulsively, he leaned down and kissed the top of Anakin's head. "But not as proud as I am."

 

\---

 

Obi-Wan stood in the Council Chamber, seething and trying not to show it.

"We could not refuse," Windu said shortly, his stony gaze meeting the Knight's equally implacable stare. 

"...Why, exactly?" Obi-Wan asked with all the politeness he had left. 

Windu sighed. "The Chancellor threatened political repercussions if we did."

Obi-Wan reached up to grip his hair but stopped at the last moment to stroke his fledgling beard instead. "Let me get this straight, Master Windu," he said. "The Chancellor of the Republic used his position as a threat to gain  _ unrestricted access to a child,  _ and you  _ GAVE IT TO HIM?" _ He had never before raised his voice at a Jedi Master in his life but he  _ certainly would now. _

"Watch your tone, Kenobi," Windu said, but he swallowed. "It seemed harmless enough, and a single Padawan -"

_ "IS NOT WORTH PISSING OFF THE CHANCELLOR?"  _ Obi-Wan shouted. "My  _ defenseless ten-year-old apprentice  _ is  _ expendable,  _ you are saying? That it would be an  _ acceptable loss  _ if - if something  _ happened  _ to him? If the Chancellor happened to  _ not  _ be harmless, as I cannot  _ imagine  _ any such request, backed by  _ political threats,  _ seemed?"

The other Council members were shifting in their seats. Plo Koon and Shaak Ti were murmuring to each other. 

Mace's face resembled something curdled. 

"We're leaving," Obi-Wan said. "I am taking my Padawan and we are leaving. I resign my position in the Order." He unclipped his lightsaber from his belt.

"Knight Kenobi, you cannot be serious!" Ki-Adi-Mundi protested.

"I don't see what else I can do, since I would no longer trust Anakin with  _ any of you,  _ any more than I would have with Palpatine!" Obi-Wan snapped.

Most of the Council looked highly affronted. Obi-Wan didn't care. He tossed the lightsaber at Windu's feet, where it clattered on the floor and rolled away. 

_ This weapon is your life,  _ Qui-Gon's voice said in his head.

_ No,  _ Obi-Wan replied.  _ Anakin is my life. You made sure of that.  _

He turned on his heel and walked out of the Council Chambers. 

The lift doors were already opening when Plo Koon's altered voice came from behind him. "Obi-Wan," he said. "Please wait."

Obi-Wan stopped but did not look round. It sounded like Plo was hurrying. 

He finally turned when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

"I do not agree with the decision to bow to the Chancellor's will," Plo said. "In fact, I was off-planet at the time, and was unaware such a choice was made until you brought this to the Council's attention. I'll make sure there's some kind of investigation into Palpatine after this - and I will argue for some recrimination of Master Dooku."

"Good luck with that," Obi-Wan said numbly. "He's Yoda's oldest living Padawan."

Plo's face darkened. "I know."

"I appreciate your actual concern for Anakin's welfare," Obi-Wan told him. "But we still cannot stay."

"I was not going to ask you to do so," Plo said. "In fact, I believe leaving is the best decision. Even aside from this situation, the rest of the Council was never going to treat you and young Anakin fairly."

Even so disenchanted as he'd now become, this statement came as a surprise to Obi-Wan.

"I know Jedi who leave our ranks are usually considered exiled, or lost," Plo said. "But I wanted to tell you that if you and Anakin should ever find yourselves in need...you may call upon me."

Obi-Wan could only stare at him in shock. 

"And...to give you this." He held out Obi-Wan's lightsaber.

"Master Plo," Obi-Wan protested automatically.

"Troubled times are ahead for the galaxy," he said. "I have sensed this, as has Master Yoda. And I also feel that no matter where you go, you and young Skywalker will be at the center of them. So take this, and when the time comes, bring Anakin to Ilum. I will make sure your way is clear." He pressed the lightsaber into Obi-Wan's hand, and he gripped it reflexively, before Plo pushed him gently forward into the waiting lift.

"I...I don't know what to say," Obi-Wan said.

"I do," Plo said. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

The lift doors closed.

**Author's Note:**

> SpaceToday at 9:32 PM  
> he absolutely snagged that before anyone noticed
> 
> DestinyToday at 9:35 PM  
> fuck dude he sure did
> 
> SpaceToday at 9:36 PM  
> mace: where is kenobi's lightsaber  
> plo koon: no idea
> 
>  
> 
> i post about obiwan and adult!anakin in a VERY MUCH slash relationship on my [blog](http://tarvek-sturmvoraus.tumblr.com/)


End file.
